Feeling lonely during the holidays? Why it happens and what can help.

The holiday season is often associated with connection and togetherness. But for some people, it can make feelings of loneliness more noticeable.

Whether you’re spending time alone, living or working away from home, or feeling disconnected even when surrounded by others, loneliness can feel especially difficult at this time of year. Dr Ashraf Shad, Clinical Specialist Advisor at Bupa Global, explains why this happens, the signs to look for, and what may help.

You are not the only one

Loneliness is a common human experience that can affect anyone at any time. In fact, the World Health Organisation estimates that one in six people worldwide experiences loneliness¹. While it can feel isolating, small steps towards meaningful connection can make a positive difference.

Why the holidays can feel lonely

Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same. Some people enjoy solitude and use time alone to rest or recharge. But loneliness is the uncomfortable feeling we have when our need for social contact and relationships isn’t met².

It can happen when you are physically separated from friends and family, perhaps because of work, relocation, travel or other commitments. But it is also possible to feel lonely in a room full of people.

Holiday pressures can make these feelings more intense. Changes to familiar routines, memories of loss, and expectations of the “perfect” celebration may all play a part. In some parts of the world at this time of year, shorter days and colder weather can also affect how people feel³.

Signs to look out for

Loneliness doesn’t always look like being quiet or spending time alone. “Sometimes even the most outgoing and sociable people feel lonely,” explains Dr Ashraf. “There are other, less obvious signs to look for.” These include:

• Losing interest in the things you usually enjoy
• Feeling disconnected or as though you don’t belong
• Becoming more self-critical, irritable, or emotionally drained
• Changes to your sleeping pattern or appetite
• Lack of motivation or disruption to your normal routine

“Temporary loneliness is completely normal and can come and go but usually gets better with a change in circumstances,” says Dr Ashraf. “When these feelings persist, become more intense, or start to affect daily functioning, it could be time to seek professional support.”

Plan ahead for difficult moments

If you expect the holiday period to feel difficult, a simple plan can help you feel more prepared and create moments to look forward to. Try to:

• Identify situations or times of day that may feel particularly difficult
• Arrange meaningful contact with loved ones, colleagues or people in your local community
• Make space for rest and avoid putting pressure on yourself
• Maintain simple routines around food, hydration, sleep and movement
• Choose a calming activity, such as mindfulness, that works for you

Mindfulness is a handy tool based on self-awareness practices that can help you manage your mental health and improve day-to-day wellbeing. 

Movement can support mental wellbeing and provide structure to your day. Choose something manageable, such as a walk, swim or short workout. If it is safe and practical, spending time outdoors can offer you the benefits of fresh air and natural light. 

Top tip: If your support network is in another country or time zone, arrange calls in advance. A planned video call, shared meal or familiar tradition may feel more meaningful than relying on last-minute messages. And if you're away from home, consider making plans with colleagues, neighbours or local community groups.

What to do when you're feeling lonely

If you are spending time alone

Choose a simple activity that shifts your focus and gives your day some structure.

“One approach that helps many people is to shift your attention for a while by choosing a simple, absorbing activity,” explains Dr Ashraf. You could:

• Go outside for a walk
• Call or message friends or family
• Learn or practise a skill
• Spend time in a public place
• Join a local group, class or community activity

“Going to a busy place and spending time observing others can help by taking the focus away from your own situation,” suggests Dr Ashraf.

If you feel lonely around other people

Focus on creating one small point of connection rather than putting pressure on yourself to transform the whole occasion.

“A personal conversation can be a good place to start,” advises Dr Ashraf. “This doesn’t need to mean deep sharing. It could simply mean being honest about how you’re feeling in the moment.” 

If conversation doesn’t come easily, consider a shared activity. Playing a game, preparing food or going for a walk can create a natural opportunity to talk.

Finding your rhythm after the holidays

Loneliness does not always disappear when the holidays end. Once the pace, activity, and expectations subside, difficult feelings can become more noticeable.

Focus on gradually rebuilding routine, connection and purpose.

“Don’t put pressure on yourself to do everything quickly,” says Dr Ashraf. “Plan time with people you care about, reconnect with colleagues, or look for opportunities to meet new people through local groups, activities or community events. Spreading plans throughout the month can help them feel more manageable.”

Choose connection over a full diary

 The answer to loneliness is not always a fuller diary. What matters is finding connection that feels meaningful to you.

Loneliness is a common human experience, and noticing the signs early can help you respond with care. Even a small moment of genuine connection can be a positive place to start.

During a demanding time of year, give yourself permission to rest, move at your own pace, and reach out when you need support.

If you are experiencing challenges with your mental health, including stress, anxiety, low mood, anger or loneliness, remember that support is available. Reach out to a healthcare professional or consider talking to a trusted friend or loved one. They may be able to encourage and support you in finding the help you need.